Today I logged into Starcraft 2, to talk. You know to chat. And a strong feeling of guilt struck me. This didn't happened afterwards, but right away while the screen was initializing Starcraft 2 (which seems to take forever now after the path). I felt it in my hearth. I was logging into a game just to talk.
Earlier on the day, I had been chatting with this girl I like for a couple of hours while playing a few games. This is not all the first time that's happening, I have meet girlfriends in games before, mainly from playing world of warcraft. But this just felt so wrong. I didn't really have time to play at all. Because I have work to finish before Monday. But I thought to myself, “well I can go in and just chat with her some more while I write this”. And then right away while I was doing it, it felt sick to my stomach. I have always been against using games for other things then gaming. The fun factor of fellowship has always been the slightest and barely a slim extra part of gaming. That I had no intention of playing at the moment, nor that it was - “I log in while I get something etc”.
Right away I started making excuses, trying to convince myself I was not doing anything dirty. I kept telling myself, well you are gonna play a couple of games in 2-3 hours this is not for flirting with this girl, that's just an extra part. You are to play a games soon, you don't care about her, you care about reaper harassing, mass muta and DT rushes.
Worst part is that it is not that I am suuuuper lonely and I just had to talk to this girl. It was more like, ee nice talking to her I should login and do it some more. Just like turning on Skype or going to Facebook etc, to communicate with someone. Either I really need a girlfriend right now, or I have grown away from games. Either way, my life suddenly feel much worse.
Today I used Starcraft 2 as a chat program....
